Sexuality is a fundamental part of the human experience and enjoying sex is completely normal and healthy. However, some people may develop an unhealthy urge to engage in sexual activities when it may harm them, their relationships, personal lives, health or their partner’s health.
What Is Sex Addiction?
Sex addiction is a controversial concept as it is not currently officially recognised as a mental disorder and it lacks diagnostic criteria. Considering that addiction is defined as a range of behaviours that are done in excess and significantly impact a person’s life in a negative way, an addiction to sex can be understood as adverse sexual behaviour that has a negative effect on one’s personal and professional life. Some people may get addicted to pornography or compulsively masturbation. It’s important to remember though, that risky sexual behaviour can be a symptom of other mental disorders like borderline personality disorder or bipolar disorder and so diagnosis and treatment should be sought for those conditions rather than sex addiction.
The signs and symptoms of sex addiction include compulsive engagement in sexual activity with multiple partners (often strangers) and one night stands, secrecy and dishonesty around these activities, obsessive sexual thoughts, preoccupation with sex even when it has negative consequences in one’s personal life, romantic relationships, friendships and career. People addicted to sex may also put themselves and others in danger due to their sexual behaviour, perhaps by not using appropriate protection against STIs and pregnancy.
These patterns of behaviour can seriously strain relationships with romantic partners, friends and family as well as seriously affect mental and physical health and life prospects due to unwanted pregnancies, venereal diseases, decreased work productivity and various mental health issues like anxiety, depression and profound guilt and shame.
Enjoying sex, having lots of sex or having multiple partners are not signs of sex addiction though, and it’s important to remember that as long as your sexual behaviour has no negative consequences to you or your partners, you are most likely just having an active and healthy sex life. Having an insatiable sexual appetite, a high sex drive or heightened libido are all fine and normal unless you feel that you cannot control these impulses and feel a compulsive urge to act on them whenever these feelings arise.
Treatment
There are multiple ways to treat sex addiction, most methods are similar to how any chemical dependency (alcohol or drug addiction) would be treated. People who suspect they may be addicted to sex should seek professional medical advice to help them overcome their potentially destructive impulses. Treatment options include individual talking therapy, cognitive-behavioural therapy (CBT), group therapy, couple’s counselling, 12-step recovery and inpatient treatment programs. Most of these methods aim to teach the patient to alter their own thoughts and behaviours to avoid following previous destructive patterns.
People who suffer from sex addiction and seek help are not required to give up sex completely, but rather they are encouraged to identify compulsive and destructive impulses and learn not to act on them. This is why group therapy can be helpful; they provide an opportunity to hear others talking about the same struggles and therefore can contribute to the construction of a good support system of people who understand the unique and specific challenges. Group meetings can also help reduce isolation and feelings of loneliness in one’s sex addiction as it provides an assurance that one is not alone with their experience.
Summary
In summary, sex addiction is a controversial concept as it is not currently diagnosed as an actual mental disorder. That being said, people of all ages and backgrounds can suffer from compulsive and/or risky sexual behaviour that follows the patterns of other, more widely recognised addictions (like gambling and alcohol dependency). People who battle sex addiction often engage in sexual behaviour that can jeopardise their career, relationships and health. They may have obsessive sexual thoughts, might be addicted to porn and masturbation and have a hard time controlling their impulses. There are plenty of treatment options though, so if you think you may be addicted to sex, you should speak to your GP about what support is available to you.
